Mud Monsters
by Destroyer Uv Nations
Summary: Random silliness


Lin stomps into Guy mansion with mud splatters all over her, most noticably the mud handprints on her butt. Jade dangles by her hood from Lin's hand and struggles, flinging some mud onto the very expensive hand-sewn couch that Cooper and Shawna just finished seven minutes ago. Lin also carries Toph by a foot, and her other foot adds a much-needed (in her opinion) mud footprint to Lin's face.

"Can someone other than me deal with this?" Lin growls.

Nadine tries to stealthily crawl away, knocking over two potted plants, a stack of dirty dishes, and Ming-Hua on her way out.

Lin is about to start demanding things again when a muddy foot inconveniently shoves into her mouth at that moment. She drops the filthy brats and over-dramatically spits on the very expensive hand-sewn couch. "Whatever. Not my problem." She goes off to do important police business.

Sakura unnecessarily crime-rolls in from around a corner. "Aha! I knew I smelled a mud monster! I'll get a good bounty for this." She starts following the footprints.

A curious innocent creature peeks out from under the mud-and-spit-stained hand-sewn couch.

"NO I AM NOT SHARING WITH YOU!" Sakura screams in its face.

Stark yelps and returns to his secret nest under the couch.

Samus walks into the room. "Did I hear something about a bounty?" She notices the mud footprints leading away and follows them.

Sakura is creepily following the trail with her nose. Kou is 'cooking' in the kitchen. Cooking = breaking plates, burning pots, and destroying perfectly good food. She glimpses Sakura pass by with her butt in the air and thinks nothing of it. Kugen hides under the kitchen table and chews on the tablecloth because there is obviously nothing edible in here.

Sakura comes to a point where the trail splits off in three directions. She chooses the stinkiest path. "The smellier the mud monster, the bigger the reward," she says greedily to herself. Chiana overhears these words of wisdom and wanders off in a daze to go ponder over them.

Samus ignores the horrific burning rainbow of smells coming from the kitchen and continues on to where the trail splits. She chooses the messiest way because she feels like shooting something. That makes sense to her.

Sakura knows she's on the right path because of all the destruction along the way. She sneaks up to the corner and flattens against the wall with her gun ready. The moment she turns the corner she is hit with a mudball to the face.

Sakura starts shooting. "AHHH Take that! and THat! You curseD EVIL MUD monster!" Her gun is clogged up with mud and no bullets come out. The evil mud monster is cracking up. Sakura is knocked onto her butt.

"Oh my goodness," says Alzack in his very obvious dad-voice. "Somebody needs a bathy!"

Sakura hears the mud monster scream like a little girl. She finally has the brilliant idea to wipe the mud off her eyes and sees Toph having a tantrum as Alzack carts her away in his arms.

"No! I don't wanna bath! Unhand me!" Toph screeches, pounding on Alzack's back.

Alzack cheerfully heads for the bathtub as if Toph is not screaming in his ear. "Well you're getting one, missy."

Missy looks around confused. "What am I getting?"

Sakura slinks away to go find the real mud monster.

Meanwhile, Samus is about to unleash death on the creature around the corner. She takes a step into the room and slips on mud. She slides on her butt across the room and crashes into the wall.

"Isn't my mud slide fun?" the mud monster says.

Gildarts slides in like a pro and smashes into Samus. "Okay, that's enough, you are going to clean this up and then we'll clean _you_ up." For some reason Gildarts thinks that was funny and starts laughing until he cries.

Jade groans and mumbles angrily the whole time she is cleaning up under Gildarts watchful dad eye. The he drags her away to get a bath, leaving Samus embedded in the wall. Korra happens along and earthbends her out. Samus returns to the hunt.

In the bathy Alzack and Gildarts are having trouble containing the two mischievous dirty children long enough to wash the mud off. Fortunately an angel arrives in the doorway to help them with the little demons.

"HI IROH!" Jade and Toph scream excitedly in the dads' ears (they are already on their way to going deaf)

"You know, I just had an idea," Iroh says. "You could get a bath in tea!"

"Uncle, people don't get baths in tea," Zuko says from where he lingers just outside the doorway.

"That's why it's a new invention," Iroh says. "Come, Zuko, help an old man with this."

Zuko has an intense mental battle over whether he should help his uncle or storm off for no good reason. Before he knows it, he is being pushed into the now tea-filled bathtub.

"Better yet, why don't you get a bath too," Iroh says.

Alzack and Gildarts watch with interest. Suddenly Alzack shivers.

"Are you cold?" Iroh asks with concern. "You could probably squeeze in..." He searches for an empty spot in the tub, where Zuko sits pouting between Toph and Jade, who are seeing how many bubbles they can pile up on his head at once.

"No, that was my dad senses," Alzack says.

"Ooooh yeah, I feel it too," Gildarts says. "We are needed elsewhere."

"Go ahead, I have things handled here," Iroh says as he vigorously scrubs three children at once. Zuko mutters that he is not a child.

Elsewhere, Sakura and Samus reach the room containing the mud monster at the same time.

"Get lost, you, this bounty is mine!" Sakura says.

"I don't care about money, I just want to shoot something," Samus says.

"Well, okay then," Sakura says. "Let's do this."

The barge in. A still mud-covered Lin is not surprised. People barge in on her all the time.

"Freeze mud monster!" Sakura shouts. Then she realizes. "Oh, you're not a mud monster. You're just a Lin monster."

Alzack and Gildarts burst through at that moment. "SOMEBODY NEEDS A BATHY!"

"What..." Lin says.


End file.
